Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Blood Diner = Best movie I have watched in a SON OF A BITCH LONG TIME.

I was thinking of just videoing my reaction while watching this movie, because no amount of words can express the joy and love I have for Blood Diner. But I don't think you want to sit there and watch me for an hour and a half...except for that one twitter creep I encountered. 

Ever since I first watched this, I have just grown to love this more and more. This film has so many awesome elements about it, that people wouldn't even consider putting in a film these days. The story alone is in a league of it's own, and if anyone else tried to attempt they would fail. 

So here's the run down on this cinematic masterpiece. We have two brothers, Michael and Georgie Tutman, who are on a quest to resurrect the five million year old Lumerian goddess Sheetar. But to do this they will need to track down their Uncle Anwar's grave and resurrect him too...and when he is back oh is he back...but as a brain and eyeballs in a jar. In order for them to complete this ridiculous quest they have to get the body parts of loose and immoral women and stitch them together. Once this is completed they will then resurrect her at the 'blood buffet' with a virgin sacrifice for her to tear apart and indulge. Oh and when they are not trying to resurrect a goddess back to life, they run their own diner which serves health food...little do the customers know they are actually eating other people. 


I cannot help but laugh my ass off whenever I see Uncle Anwar's brain and eyeballs in a jar. And the fact that he can talk, just makes it all the more hilarious. A lot of the time we see Uncle Anwar getting quite hot and bothered over the potential virgin sacrifice scouting, and it is just so absurd, and the first time you watch this you will constantly be saying 'WHAT THE FUCK?'. But trust me once you watch this over and over again, you will love this film, because it does possess a lot of charm. I also love how much he loses his shit at Georgie. All Georgie wants to do is wrestle, cook and resurrect Sheetar, but his Uncle Anwar always seems to be busting his balls. 


Michael and Georgie Tutman are so very different to one another but it's their love and devotion for their Uncle Anwar and their cause which brings them together...in a sick twisted way I might add. Michael Tutman played by Rick Burks, is the brains and the charmer behind all of this scheme. He comes across as a really smooth and sweet kind of guy, and no wonder Connie falls for him. I mean wouldn't you? He is extremely clever and smart and he makes all of this scheme just look so incredibly easy. And he can do this mind control hypnotising shit...a jedi mind trick possibly! Then we have Georgie played by Carl Crew and this guy steals the show. He doesn't say much in the film, but his facial expressions say it all. He may not be the brains of this team but he sure is the muscle. It isn't just Crew's facial expressions that are brilliant, but also his body language and attitude. They are very significant in the film because even though he doesn't say much, his movement, and facial expressions let the audience know what he is thinking.  And if an actor can possess that talent, well they are fucking awesome in my books. 


This is most definitely a horror film, but it isn't your conventional slasher that we saw a lot of in the 1980's. This totally has a dark side to it, but it has comedy entwined with the horror, and that usually doesn't work. People usually want one or the other, not both. A lot of 80's horror films had that comedic charm to it, sometimes it was intentional and other times it wasn't. Blood Diner's comedic charm was definitely intentional, and I think if it didn't have any comedy aspect to it, I don't think it would have been as entertaining as it is. Blood Diner is currently sitting on a 4.3 on the rating scale on IMDB. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? If you don't like it, that is fine but seriously what was not to love? Answer me that question. Maybe I can convince you why I love it so much, with a couple of my favourite scenes from the film! Enjoy!!



This scene, just makes me crack up so god damn much. If you are having a really crap day, and you watch this scene, it will make you laugh A LOT. Like I said before the facial expressions that Georgie has on his face is pure happiness and joy, and it's those expressions which make the scene. 




And here we have the infamous wrestling scene between Georgie and Jimmy Hitler. I love wrestling in general, so I understand that the characters are meant to be larger than life. But Georgie just goes to this whole different level and it makes you laugh and then it fires you up. As for Jimmy Hitler he is not match for Georgie. Speaking of Jimmy Hitler there is another scene he is in that I have to show you guys, because I have no idea what this dude is fucking saying. If someone could decipher it, I will be in your debt!



Blood Diner is a film, that was introduced to me by my bestest friends. And I am so thankful they did. It made me laugh, fire up, and it made me love the horror/comedy genre a lot more. It is pure joy to watch, and it is now one of my all time favourite movies. If you haven't seen this film, I hope you will now go and obtain a copy and get the same happiness and joy, that I get each time I watch it. 

Oh and PS!

You should all follow Carl Crew AKA Georgie on Twitter@CarlCrewCIA
He is a really awesome dude, and has a lot of time and love for his fans, and you should also check out his artwork at Carlcrew.com

Don't be a SQUARE HEADED IGNORAMUS...just DO IT!

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